Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Great Expectations?

Am I the only "house wife" (I use this term very loosely...) in America with a husband who can look in the refrigerator and tell me with a grief stricken, forlorn face that there is nothing to drink while gazing upon five to six different icy cold beverage choices???

Seriously, I have had numerous occasions where after unloading beer, bottled water, juice, milk, Gatorade and chocolate milk into the most important appliance in my house hold, I am told unequivocally that, "There is not a thing to drink..." by my dear and loving spouse.

The reality is that this commentary from my husband is code for "I want a Pepsi." But I refuse to supply the high fructose corn syrup-carmel colored elixer to the humming bird my husband has allowed himself to become.

So by his declaration, my husband, either wants to incite a battle over some inconsequential beverage choice, or he likes to hear me scream like a victim out of Halloween XX. I hardly can believe the shrieks that emerge from my own vocal cords when I am accosted with such an attack.

Is that me yelling or is someone being bludgeoned with an ax? He is known to be a tinsy bit antagonistic just for fun and I should, after 13 years of exposure to him, be well immunized from such balderdash, but somehow I am always suckered in.

To sum it up, if my husband was a wizard he would cast a spell upon the refrigerator such that upon its opening a colorful puff of smoke would burst from within and a cold soda would levitate to his lips, while simultaneously a hot cheeseburger and fries would leap into his hands. Then he would say jovially, "See, Honey, I made dinner tonight."

Aggggghhhh!!!!!

18 Comments for OSL:

Cheryl said...

Prefers Pepsi over beer? What the??

DayPhoto said...

I have the same problem only for me it's Dr. Pepper. Sigh.

Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com/

Julia said...

One would think beer would do the trick, but no. . .

Suzi said...

He comes to my house with the same complaints. Recently he told me I am "sucking out" on snacks and cookies. Oh well. Told him to go bake his own cookies. ;-)

Julie Harward said...

Ahhh, I gotta go with the hub on this one Julia (even though we have the same name!) I love Pepsi too...but I mix 8 oz. of cranberry juice in with mine..so..it's becomes a healthy drink! (not buying it are you...stop yelling!) LOL :D

Grand Pooba said...

I'm with Cheryl, pepsi over beer? Better yet, pepsi over Coke?

Something must be seriously wrong with him.

Cheryl said...

And... you live near a wonderful winery!!! Once again - what tha?

Julia said...

OK I guess I need to more fully splain the situation.

If I have Pepsi in the house Mike drinks them one after another after another after another. He has no control whatsoever.

Thus I refuse to be the codependent wife supplying my spouse with his drug.

As far as wine goes, Mike likes the MUSCAT. Which is pure sugar.

SO what is one to do with a sugar-aholic?

I say NO sodas in the house.

Ratty said...

Your husband is only doing his job, annoying you. That's what husbands and wives are for, aren't they?

Sara said...

Pepsi is elixer of the gods. But I agree with you. We quit buying Pepsi to drink at home. We have choices of water, milk or sweet tea. The crazy behavior problems have abated some, until my MIL give Tigger snacks and sends them home hopped up.

Walk in the Woods said...

I'm pretty much a water drinker and am blessed with good well water. So my frig would further disappoint - with only a bottle of fruit/vegetable juice and some ales. Everything else is for eating. :)

Rising Rainbow said...

It's a man thing, I think. LOL

Raven said...

My kids are forever digging through the cupboards and whining that there is nothing to eat, despite the fact that I can list at least 5 things they can make. It's infuriating.

theUngourmet said...

My father in law is the same way with diet Coke. I think he must drink at least a six pack a day! My husband doesn't go much for soda but he sure does whine and moan if the beer is gone. I usually make him buy his own beer. 12 packs are a lot harder to lug home from the store than a bottle of wine. I think maybe he should switch. ;)

Captain Dumbass said...

Your husband would make an awesome wizard.

Jennifer MacNeill-Traylor said...

"Nothing to drink" in your house is like "nothing to eat" in our house. The husband likes his junk. :)

Dawn said...

That is a guy thing. If something was not at my husband's eye level in the refrigerator, he absolutely could not see it and would announce that "there is nothing to eat in this house." Men!

Doris Sturm said...

How did I miss this post? I look forward to your articles, Julia. Oh, well...it didn't leap out onto my page and therefore it wasn't there, right?

It's so typical male behavior, you'll just have to slip into your Gracie mode and let it slide right off...