He had only one birthday wish.
He wanted me to shave my legs.
"You know I like my women shorn," Mike tells me the day before his birthday, "You know I don't ask for much from you."
As I roll my eyes back in my head and quantify that his lack of expectations is one of the biggest understatements of the year, I sigh in dread.
"Which 'women' would that be? I thought you were married to me." I queried back. "Are you cheating on me?" I have not had bare legs since last August or September. Actually, I never shave in the winter. Begrudgingly, I usually shave in the summer or at the onset of short season, but this year I drew a line in the sand.
"Like sheep, shorn and hairless," he rejoins with glee, "Seriously, that's all I want. Please shave your legs."
"No. I was born with hair on my legs. I hate shaving my legs. Shaving is unnatural," was my response. I am a self righteous hippie about some things. Especially body hair and body image. So, here I am to rant my grievance with the western world's concept of beauty. I guess I hold a little grudge against the American standards of attractiveness.
"Pleasssse......" Mike went into his annoying whining mode.
"You don't treat me any differently when I do shave? Why should I???"
"It's my birthday."
Just so you don't flee in terror I subscribe to daily showering, but shaving just does not make it to my list of important. I mean, we are born with hundreds of hair follicles on our legs. We're supposed to have hair there! Right? RIGHT!
I know some of you don't agree with this philosophy. And those who are grossed out will be clicking away from my site about now. That's OK. I expect it. Go ahead and flee.
I actually relented and granted my husband's only wish. Using the "Prestige Emjoi" I proceeded to deflock my legs. It's the grown up baby sister to the Epilady. Remember that mid evil depilatory device?
It's totally one of those hair rippers that make you cringe in fear. It sounds like a snarling grinding evil machine you could find in a dungeon, but instead resides in my medicine closet for most of the year until I must commit self torture. But seeing as ice water flows through my veins I am able to endure the 1/2 hour agony in silence. The pile of hair on the floor afterward was hilarious. But now I feel totally naked. If you actually want to see the before and after pictures click here. I did not want to incite pandemonium by displaying these to the world...
This "gift" while seemingly insignificant, is really an imposition to my beliefs. Just so you know, I checked out some historical facts about the emergence of leg shaving and it's origins. Billions of women on this planet do not shave. This is a fact. We are just convinced we need to in the States and are indoctrinated at a very young age with this custom...
According to Wikapedia, for women, the practice of shaving the legs derives from a current cultural standard in the West that deems leg hair on women unattractive. This standard emerged during the early twentieth century, as women's legs became more visible owing to shorter hemlines, and when the safety razor made the practice of leg shaving practical. The reasons for this cultural standard are debated, but it is sometimes seen as an example of a cultural mechanism for increasing sexual dimorphism. Others have suggested that it was promoted as a means of selling razors to a broader segment of the populace.
Some women, despite the social pressures that favor hairless legs in certain Western countries, never shave at all. While some refrain out of lack of concern, others consider leg and armpit shaving an unnatural and repressive societal double standard. Still others refrain in an effort to be less environmentally wasteful.
Research also suggests that women who do not shave their body hair are "characterized by higher global self-esteem." Scholars suggest that this is because women with lower levels of self-esteem are less likely to be satisfied with their natural bodies, and thus more likely to alter them.So with my self esteem intact I have gone through my yearly torture, but thoroughly resented it. My bare naked legs feel weird. Maybe next year I can convince my husband that hair is really OK, but I doubt it. You may still be asking why I rip my hairs out by the roots instead of shaving the old fashioned way. Well, I can only say it will give me at least two nag free months from my husband and that may be a gift in it's self... And I hate and detest and despise shaving.
Happy Shaving Ladies!