Sunday, June 21, 2009

I Have Been Mauled

Yes, the inevitable has occurred. I have been injured.

Fortunately, I will recover. The wounds are not mortal.

But next time I may not be so lucky...

If you are afraid of gore or are among those who faint at blood, I will forgive your skipping the pictures. Cover your eyes or just skip down to the text below.

I will understand.

But here is the gruesome evidence.


Here is a close up for your inspection of the severity of the laceration.


I know I should be thankful that I still breath this earth's air and that I am among the land of the living. Please do not cry for me or lament my awful misfortune.

At this point, I know you are asking one fundamentally important question:

How pray tell did I acquire such a dramatic and life threatening injury?

Answer: Mr. D (Our intrepid Danish leghorn rooster).

As I was collecting eggs this week, Mr. D decided he wanted to renew our previous grievance, and that he would show me his extra special rooster attack. The atrocious wound in the pictures occurred through jeans. And there was no hole in the jeans, but Mr. D succeeded in harming me!!!! How dare he!!!!

Even stranger yet, I did not even feel his spurring on my leg. The rooster was just hopping around my leg and I kicked him a few times. Then as I was walking back to the house with my hostages ("the eggs") I felt something strange on my leg.

I was all, "WTF!!" Is my leg burning a little bit? "Why yes it is!"

I stooped down and pulled up my pants and voila! The red puncture wound you see was there on my leg!

Methinks Mr. D has been taking additional ninja lessons..... Hmmmmmmm.

As the scab on my leg clings to my skin reminding me of this evil assault, I think revenge is not far away. A slow roast over a BBQ is just the cure.

Now I am totally freaking my self out, since all I can think of is that I am Hannibal from Silence of the Lambs. Now the only question is, "Where can I get some fava beans?"

20 Comments for OSL:

Kritter Keeper said...

oh, i am so sorry! hope it doesn't hurt anymore! i guess that is just the way roosters are?? i read another blog who has the same problem and she always takes a broom with her...i never heard my mom complain as she lived on a large farm in vermont when she was a child...i will have to ask her...

blueviolet said...

Oh yeah, mama, you have some payback to give. Ohhhhhh....yeahhhhhhh....

Just_Aimee said...

Stopping by for a very late VGNO. Hope your wound heals soon :-)

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

Honey, the important thing is that the JEANS were not marred. Yer leg will heal; jeans won't.

I knew it was the rooster right off.

Maybe you should prop an old mirror up and let him get his aggressions out on the barnyard doppelganger that will appear.

Do not attempt any mind-meld with the rooster; it could be dangerous for both of ye. But I do wonder why he is attacking you now, when before he never did. Probably got wind of the "Bare Butted Chickens Must Die" plan...

the ungourmet said...

How traumatic for you! Did it require any stitches?

I am thinking you may require a little psychiatric help after going through such life altering experience. I know a guy....

Julia said...

Kritter Keeper-I love to exaggerate for literary effect... ;) I am also carrying a rake in with me when I go into their pen now.

Blue Violet-Ya hungry??

Just Aime-Thanks!

ODP-Thanks for setting me straight about my priorities. How soon I forget fashions importance in this matter. The jeans were sparred. or rather sparred... hee hee. And Mr. D has another rooster in there with him so I'd think they'd fight but they totally live in mutual happiness. Go figure.

Julia said...

Kim-Thank you for your deep and caring concern for my well being. You are an angel.

Ratty said...

I'll bet Mr. D will taste extra delicious after that one. Maybe he's just getting you because he already knows his fate.

Suzi said...

I feel your pain. I too carry a "weapon" in with me when I collect the eggs. I do have to say he is still leary of me after our first tryst with the ninja skills.

Grand Pooba said...

Oh I knew that rooster was bad news, heck your son knew that rooster was bad news!

That little pecker!

Life Ramblings said...

awww, the pain must be excruciating. hope you're not in pain anymore.

Clare said...

I read the title and thought, 'Oh my god !!! Mountain lion?? Cougar ???? Other American type wild animals????'

But oh no. It had to be that well known, ferocious, carnivorous......

rooster.

Eat him GOOOOD, darling. Eat him REAL good !!!! lol.

xx

Pricilla said...

Hey, I get it. Every old bruise from Abby I remember when she gives me a new one. I look at her and say, "rosemary and thyme goat, you will taste good with rosemary and thyme!"

rotten goat.

The Old Gray Egg said...

That poor old rooster! Doin' what roosters do... and then given a death sentence. Gosh is that little wound just to one side of a big scar? What happened to the poor goon who gave you that one? Looks to me like maybe you need to abandon jeans and trade them in for some North Woods Chainsaw Proof Logging Chaps.

Karen said...

You are so brave! Do you have to get a tetanus shot?

Cheryl said...

Fava beans - check the Farmer's Market. Rooster is delicious!

Mountain Woman said...

Now I can totally understand your previous entry about your upcoming chicken feast.

The Mind of a Mom said...

Does he not understand that he is just walking drumsticks?? Next time you see him I say you walk in with a box if Stuff-n-such and just shake it. I am sure he will not be trying to take your leg off ever again! LoL

Yaya said...

ninja lessons, lol! I saw the wound and knew it was him!

hippygirl said...

I thought having a rooster would be fun! haha. Now we have two and one is a meanie so I know exactly what you mean when you mention BBQ.

And the fava beans comment is too funny. Someone was making that joke around here about something recently, it seems. :)