Monday, November 16, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts-How Bird Poop, Kittens, Thumbs and Aliens are Affecting My Life.

Welcome to the post that contains the catch-all basket of oddities which have collected in my house during the past week, otherwise known as Random Tuesday Thoughts as hosted by Keely, The Un Mom.

Unfinished "Business":
No body knew exactly what this picture showed from my last post. Actually, not many people guessed at it.

Maybe it's a sad indication of my interests that I am almost proud to know why all that white coloring occurs on the plants. My knowledge base is just an occupational hazard it seems. I am a biologist after all.

This area is about 6 x 10 feet. There is a large branch hanging over this site about 60 feet in the air.

Let's just say you'd not want to stand beneath that tree at night. If you did you would suffer the wrath of whitewash from the egret who roosts there. Splat...

Please don't run now. Trust me, this post gets better. I think... Maybe.

More important stuff: The new kitty follows the mouse across the screen in hunting mode. His big kitty paws get all jumpy and he stands on the computer screen trying to eat the arrow. He's all bloggy like that!

Bingo has settled into our house like he was born into our strange society. BUT, he has a volatile organic compound factory within his body. At the moment, he resembles a skunk with his room clearing farting ability.

Why must cats sleep as close to your face as possible? This is dangerous territory with the gaseous explosions escaping without warning. Bingo would sleep ON your FACE if he was allowed.

This photo demonstrates the strange balance in karmic energy for my dearest husband, Mike. What he provides in punishment (Starbucks for Unsalted Butter...) to others ME he gets back in itchy cat hairs attached to his beard stubble.

On That Note: Wyatt (the Kindergartner) knows how to write the word "FART." By. Him. Self. The world is coming to an end.

While on the Subject of Wyatt: WHEN is THIS going to end? I'd be happy with the end of thumb sucking any day now. My parental training skills are definitely lacking in this department. Suggestions? Hot pepper sauce on the thumb? Bitter Apple spray like you use on dogs? I am open to any thing at this point.

My salvation is that he ONLY sucks his thumb when holding those blankets. And he can't sleep without the blankets. Oh, what's a Mom to do? I see 10K in braces in our future.

Something Personal: I love the walk-in refrigerator at Costco. I could spend a hour breathing the cold misty air. I will walk circles in there for ten minutes if allowed. Ella breaks my trance telling me, "I am COLD, Maw-Maw!!!!" I always forget to bring her parka.

The Aliens Have Landed: Last week I was awoken by a strange humming sound coming from the back of the property. Softly flashing lights were blinking over the horses pasture and a pulsing glow radiated into my kitchen. The moon was not yet up, so I could not blame this strange lighting on natural celestial objects.

"Oh crap," I thought. "Now the aliens are landing here. Just great..."

I moved up to the window pane to inspect more closely and I could discern a saucer shaped object hovering over the horses. It was complete with a clear shiny dome and I could see the small greenish-blue humanoids opening the hatch.

I kept thinking that I really didn't need additional complications in my life and this was not good timing for an alien abduction. Can't they just bother someone else? Maybe the horses would kick them. At that point, I figured I'd better just go back to bed. And so I did.

When I went outside in the morning, I could see why they came to our house. They needed to practice their crop circles and they actually made some designs on my horse. I was kind of needing to clip the horses anyway, so after staring in disbelief for a few seconds, I was all, "SCORE!!!! Less work for me! Thank You Aliens!"

No, no, no!!!! Sharpie is TOTALLY LYING!!! I don't care what that horse says. I had NOTHING to do with that hideous clip job. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

More Proof The Aliens Were Here: On the night the aliens visited, I know they sent telepathic thoughts to my daughter as well. The proof is in the photo. The next day in the kitchen, when I turned from my occupation as vegetable chopper, pot stirrer, and food tender, I was astonished to see Ella making crop circles with the new package of underwear that we had bought her.

She was so proud it was unbelievable.

But, I think the message from the aliens was clearly written, "If you keep going into the refrigerator you will never fit in smaller sized underwear."

On that note. I am O.U.T.

Gotta check in with the supreme leader now...


Rural Rambler said...

Julia, I swear I would love to spend some time at your house! A farting fuzz faced kitty on a sleeping hubby's chest, a sweet little guy with a blankie in a box, the CLIP, a cutie of a little girl with her pretty new undiewear displayed in front of the fridge and an admission to being all in love with the walk-in cooler at Costco! Our Simple Life looks like a Good Life! I never sucked my thumb Julia but I had a blankie and don't tell anyone but I still do, sort of, and I'm 58-sshhhh.

Melodie said...

All I could think of when I saw that picture of Bingo and your hubby was that when he wakes up his nose is going to be full of cat hair boogers!

I went through a similar ,but not quiet, thing with The Boy when he was little.He refused to poop on the pot.I tried everything from reasoning to punishment.I finally do what all parents resort to, bribing! Hey, I was desperate!I told him if he would put all his poops in the pot for one week I would take him to stuff mart and buy him what ever he wanted!
Lucky for me it was just a toy John Deer tractor!

Aunt Spicy said...

Ohhhh, I adore the costco walk-in makes me so happy! And I am so intrigued by the neighborhood aliens-cant wait to hear more!

Anonymous said...

The new kitty is so cute and I understand about the farts, or poots we call them in these parts. Jill the Basset hound, bless her little heart, is very gifted at that too.

I have a picture of my husband in that same position as he slept with a cat on top. I think it is cute!

and Wyatt one day will just give that thumb up and you won't realize it, and you will love that picture. Don't fret, Miracle Eve is almost a year old and still loves her bottle!

Have a great day.

I am Harriet said...

Love the talking horses :)

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

Bless yer little heart, Julia, I think you missed yer true calling. Instead of a botanist, you are more a ZOOKEEPER...

I didn't guess about the whitish plants because I was worried you'd triumphantly say to my guess (that it was a type of varigation) "WRONG! It is a clear case of myconium blankensia, you fool!"

I think you are definitely the smartest blogger I have ever read. Sadly, this is balanced by being on of the STRANGEST bloggers I've ever

P.S. Don't worry about the thumb-sucking, it will eventually end, possibly in the teen years.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

That cat is beautiful! Love the picture of him laying under your hubby's chin... ;)

If you figure out how to get a 6-7 year old to stop sucking (her) thumb, please let me know. Princess Nagger says she'll stop when she loses her top 2 teeth because then she won't have anything to 'prop' her thumb on. She only sucks her thumb when she's feeling insecure or when she's really, really tired, but I can see the braces expense in the future, too. *sigh*

Love the alien invasion fall-out on the horses and your daughter's crop-circle underwear. Hilarious!

Happy RTT! :)

Pricilla said... should do the trick. Tastes awful. It's still in tonic water I think.

Send the aliens here please so they can suck up my roosters.
Thank you

Suzi said...

I couldn't elaborate last night about Lucky. We had to sneak him out because dear, loving hubby was inside. Anyway Luke rushed him out the front door while Jeff was in the kitchen and there was a stench that followed. Luke had to wash his arm off because the stench adhered to his skin. It was so nasty, the 3 boys and I were wishing we had our own personal gas masks.

Christine Gram said...

What an entertaining RTT! LOVED it. The horses are freaking hilarious. And I think you stole my cat. Seriously, I had a cat that went to live on a horse farm a couple of years ago. It was THAT cat!!!

Thumb sucking. I used to suck my thumbs when I was a wee one. Mom said I had to have my hands bandaged up and the only good that came out of it was that I kicked the habit. Maybe you could make him some sock puppet buddies to sub in for the blankie?

Grand Pooba said...

Oh how I love that picture with Bingo and that strange man you call husband. Awwww! Ok so I have some extra sour apple spray if you need it to help with the thumb sucking. I think I'm going to have to side with Sharpie on this one, but I do agree of the sign in front of the fridge!

The Mind of a Mom said...

I love your story about Bingo, see he was meant to be with you! The pic of Bingo on hubby chest is so cute! He looks so at home like he was always meant to be there!

Doris Sturm said...

You are too much, Julia! Have you written that book yet? You would put Erma Bombeck to shame (yeah, Erma who?)

First of all, give Bingo a few more days to clear out his system. God only knows what the heck he was eating before he came to live at your house. I almost thought I couln't keep my cat because when she used the litterbox, I could not breathe for those noxious fumes - the whole apartment (granted, it's small) was permieted with that stench! But, I put her on a good brand cat food and the odor has gone - of course, she's got no flatulence problem either, that I know of.

I had to laugh at your husband's photo with Bingo, the explosive danger cat. I was thinking: This from a man who says 'we can do without another cat' - ha!

So, what really did happen to the horses? I think Sharpie was right after all ;-)

Your son's a genious. You ought to send him for piano lessons.

Kisses for Ella!
Me :-)

karenscarvie said...

Holy crop circles, Julia! Did space collapse in one nano second of extra-terrestrial time?

You see, about the time you were madly crafting the alien scenario I was reading Grant's complaint on Facebook about how he hated homework. I responded with a question. Would he rather do his homework or get abducted by an UFO?

"Ummmmm," he replied, "homework."

I didn't even attempt to disguise my disappointment. "Well, I'd like to be kidnapped by a UFO. Imagine what I could learn. That is, if the aliens were nice. I bet they would be, so I'd take my chances.

Hey, Julia, if those aliens show up again, give them my address. I could use a little excitement.

Raven said...

Bingo is a beautiful cat!

Great random thoughts, I laughed my way through them all!

Have a fantastic day!


Sara said...

Great random post! Why did you clip Sharpie?

Bingo will outgrow it, I think. We had a kitty that could clear a room, he had some kind of weird bacteria imbalance that settled down after we got him home a few months.

Ella is too cute!!! She'd totally rock the brim hat.

The thumb sucking will pass. If he's tenacious then nothing you do will keep him from doing it. Limit him to bedtime, though.

mamaski said...

try Thumbuddy To Love, a great product to get your child to quit thumb sucking...they have a good web site for thumb sucking tips and a great product to to make it more easy...

DayPhoto said...

I enjoy this post greatly! Had lots of smiles and laughs to start my afternoon. AND I needed them


blueviolet said...

Did you really shame your horse like that? Get it together! ;)

I love the underwear rainbow, and I think you're right about the cat. Long may the cat hairs wave in your husband's stubble.

Vixen said...

Today you made me laugh harder than I have in ages. BTW, I didn't guess about the white stuff because I forgot to tell you my guess was some kind of mold. Glad I forgot, since I was so very wrong.

Looking at your horses makes proud of my anti-alien stance. That is just so wrong, lol.

Ratty said...

Maybe you could ask the aliens to cure the cat of his little problem. If they refuse, threaten to lock them in their spaceship with him.

Sharkbytes said...

I sucked my thumb till I was 9. Some days it still seems like a pretty good option. Maybe you could get Bingo to fart on his thumb, or maybe Bingo should wear some of those pink undies. I do have to admit though, that I've never seen an underwear crop circle. What do you keep in that refrigerator?

Doris Sturm said...

Thanks, Julia, for making me laugh - your labels alone in your posts make me chuckle...anyway, Ella's hat is ready and I think it's adorable...all sugar and spice and everything nice...the spice part would have to be the fish - aha, now I have you better go and take a look:

Doris ;-)

Raven said...

Just wanted to let you know you have an award over at my blog!

Have a great Friday.

DiPaola Momma said...

This is HOW BAD I SUCK at keeping in bloggy touch with ya.. last time I BOTHERED to stop in Mike was far less clothed and Ella was MUCH smaller.. LORD what are you feeding that girl??? She's gonna end up like her mom, freakishly tall.. ummm maybe the Aliens are at work here again. 80}

Karen said...

I will say this is a lie if you ever tell my daughter I told this but she finally quit sucking her thumb at age 28, when she paid for her own braces. I tried.

Mountain Woman of Red Pine Mountain said...

Ha, that was great and I'm glad to see the great disliker of unsalted butter is being covered with cat hairs while sleeping.
Please, please do not send any aliens my way. I so enjoy reading about their exploits at your house. I'm especially impressed with the underwear crop circle.
As to the thumb, ignore it and it will pass.
Thanks as always for the great read.

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