Showing posts with label I have been abducted by aliens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I have been abducted by aliens. Show all posts

Monday, November 16, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts-How Bird Poop, Kittens, Thumbs and Aliens are Affecting My Life.

Welcome to the post that contains the catch-all basket of oddities which have collected in my house during the past week, otherwise known as Random Tuesday Thoughts as hosted by Keely, The Un Mom.

Unfinished "Business":
No body knew exactly what this picture showed from my last post. Actually, not many people guessed at it.

Maybe it's a sad indication of my interests that I am almost proud to know why all that white coloring occurs on the plants. My knowledge base is just an occupational hazard it seems. I am a biologist after all.

This area is about 6 x 10 feet. There is a large branch hanging over this site about 60 feet in the air.

Let's just say you'd not want to stand beneath that tree at night. If you did you would suffer the wrath of whitewash from the egret who roosts there. Splat...

Please don't run now. Trust me, this post gets better. I think... Maybe.


More important stuff: The new kitty follows the mouse across the screen in hunting mode. His big kitty paws get all jumpy and he stands on the computer screen trying to eat the arrow. He's all bloggy like that!

Bingo has settled into our house like he was born into our strange society. BUT, he has a volatile organic compound factory within his body. At the moment, he resembles a skunk with his room clearing farting ability.

Why must cats sleep as close to your face as possible? This is dangerous territory with the gaseous explosions escaping without warning. Bingo would sleep ON your FACE if he was allowed.


This photo demonstrates the strange balance in karmic energy for my dearest husband, Mike. What he provides in punishment (Starbucks for Unsalted Butter...) to others ME he gets back in itchy cat hairs attached to his beard stubble.

On That Note: Wyatt (the Kindergartner) knows how to write the word "FART." By. Him. Self. The world is coming to an end.

While on the Subject of Wyatt: WHEN is THIS going to end? I'd be happy with the end of thumb sucking any day now. My parental training skills are definitely lacking in this department. Suggestions? Hot pepper sauce on the thumb? Bitter Apple spray like you use on dogs? I am open to any thing at this point.


My salvation is that he ONLY sucks his thumb when holding those blankets. And he can't sleep without the blankets. Oh, what's a Mom to do? I see 10K in braces in our future.

Something Personal: I love the walk-in refrigerator at Costco. I could spend a hour breathing the cold misty air. I will walk circles in there for ten minutes if allowed. Ella breaks my trance telling me, "I am COLD, Maw-Maw!!!!" I always forget to bring her parka.

The Aliens Have Landed: Last week I was awoken by a strange humming sound coming from the back of the property. Softly flashing lights were blinking over the horses pasture and a pulsing glow radiated into my kitchen. The moon was not yet up, so I could not blame this strange lighting on natural celestial objects.

"Oh crap," I thought. "Now the aliens are landing here. Just great..."

I moved up to the window pane to inspect more closely and I could discern a saucer shaped object hovering over the horses. It was complete with a clear shiny dome and I could see the small greenish-blue humanoids opening the hatch.

I kept thinking that I really didn't need additional complications in my life and this was not good timing for an alien abduction. Can't they just bother someone else? Maybe the horses would kick them. At that point, I figured I'd better just go back to bed. And so I did.

When I went outside in the morning, I could see why they came to our house. They needed to practice their crop circles and they actually made some designs on my horse. I was kind of needing to clip the horses anyway, so after staring in disbelief for a few seconds, I was all, "SCORE!!!! Less work for me! Thank You Aliens!"


No, no, no!!!! Sharpie is TOTALLY LYING!!! I don't care what that horse says. I had NOTHING to do with that hideous clip job. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

More Proof The Aliens Were Here: On the night the aliens visited, I know they sent telepathic thoughts to my daughter as well. The proof is in the photo. The next day in the kitchen, when I turned from my occupation as vegetable chopper, pot stirrer, and food tender, I was astonished to see Ella making crop circles with the new package of underwear that we had bought her.


She was so proud it was unbelievable.

But, I think the message from the aliens was clearly written, "If you keep going into the refrigerator you will never fit in smaller sized underwear."

On that note. I am O.U.T.

Gotta check in with the supreme leader now...

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