Monday, December 15, 2008

And A Tree Was Found

I swore to Santa Claus and his 581 elves that I would not do a pictorial essay of our capturing a tree, but somehow it happened anyway. I am sure I will have an empty stocking this year or one filled with coal, but I probably deserve it anyway. Maybe for punishment the reindeer will stamp on me with their little cloven hooves. But anyway...

Since there are several tree farms literally within FIVE minutes of our house we gleefully packed up the kids in the truck and drove down our main road to get our tree!

Here I am putting on my happy face for the hunt. OK, so I am faking it a little.

Next, husband Mike, armed with a hand saw, a camera, and his blackberry was in charge of the gadgets. As soon as we entered the truck, he found an immediate need to take his self portrait. With arms extended awkwardly he captured this beautiful moment in time.




He's AWESOME with the camera.



Poor baby Ella in the back seat is thinking, "Dada, what are you doing with the camera all funny like that?? You're supposed to be taking pictures of me. Maybe I need to hit you with this here stick."



This is sooo much better here, a huge improvement honey. I think we can count every one of your beard hairs now.

As we arrived at the location where we thought we could execute a tree by lethal sawing there was a strange and unexpected sign on the entry gate. What could this possibly be???

Total bummer. This did not bode well for the hunt. But after a quick reevaluation of their tree stock as pictured below...

Maybe they needed to be closed for a good reason. We would have brought home the Xmas shrub or a turbo tree... It would have been a tough decision to pick the ugliest tree from the mangy assortment presented on their lot, but we were assured to have the worst looking tree in the neighborhood regardless of our choice.



We drove down the road to the next promising spot only to greeted by another welcoming sign... At this point I am thinking we are totally doomed this year. We're going to have go to Home Dump, oops, I mean Home Depot. But...


As we were taking these lovely documentary photographs the lady teaching a riding lesson in the arena started yelling at us. "Why are you taking pictures???" in a not so friendly voice. Uh-oh! We're in trouble now.

We yell back at her our situation with the previous tree farm being closed and that we were good photodocumentarians and the like. THEN she says, "We'll sell you a tree. Come in." Easy as that! What luck. And I though we were in for a real ass chewing with some nasty language. The Christmas spirit was following us.


So we parked on the side of the road and started our trek into their lot of pretty trees. They had lots of nice trees to choose from so I was wondering why they were closed so early.

Up and down the hill we went looking for just the right one.

Then, after hunting through the thicket for about 10 minutes we found the most ideal and perfect tree to
assassinate and bring home as a trophy. We settled on this one which the kids helped pick out. (Translation: I picked it out)

After the quick hop home, we gave the camera to our son Wyatt so that he could hone his photography skills at an early age. It seems he is about as good as taking pictures as the old man... First we get a nice shot of Mike's ass.


Then because Wyatt can't help himself he got a picture of Ella peeing...potty humor rules at my house.


But finally, we brought the little beauty in side to decorate.


Wyatt helped me with hanging ornaments. It was his novel idea to spear a smoked almond with a ornament hanger and place it delicately on the beaded garland. "A can a week, that's all we ask." Blue Diamond Almonds is loving us right now.

Then the almond, finding life as an ornament a total waste, fell into Wyatt's mouth by itself.

And finally the finished product. A decked out tree squeezed in between the table and the couch. Note the zone of "no ornamentation" up to three feet, a Christmas essential with toddlers who want to suck on strange shiny objects...


And my favorite new ornament "The gingerbread pony."

One more Christmas ritual is complete and the count down is really underway now. I can almost hear Santa rounding up the reindeer for their party on the 25th!

18 comments:

Michelle said...

Looks like you got lucky this year finding a tree. Your tree is just beautiful. Thanks for taking me on your fun journey. Hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas and New Year.

Anonymous said...

Good humor. I have had my laugh for the day, now I will need to get in my night time laugh at the cookie exchange.

The Silver Age Sara said...

Oh my gosh, I was rolling on the floor laughing reading your tree adventures and admiring the photos of your husband's face.
Ella and Wyatt are absolutely adorable.
I'm glad you found the perfect tree and it really looks lovely in your home.
Thanks for providing some laughter and joy to my day.

Anonymous said...

much cuter then my pink monstrosity!

Anonymous said...

Great tree! I completely understand the no ornaments on the bottom. I tried that this year but it didn't work. My toddler throws stuff at the tree to knock the ornaments down, so I had to put them up. My tree only has lights. Maybe next year....

Mammatalk said...

You made me chuckle with this one, little lady! :-> Gorgeous family, by the way.

Anonymous said...

Great post!!!

Merry Christmas in Bloggyland!

MaricrisG said...

that's good that everything turned out well at the end. Tell ur hubby I know how many nose hairs he have now! :)

Anonymous said...

Great 'photo story' and I'm glad it had a happy ending! You had me worried there for a while!

Elizabeth Leigh said...

well i'm glad you gave in and blogged about your tree hunt, especially since you almost didn't get one - whew! great post and LOVE the vest you are wearing the day you went for the tree! any idea where u got that? I LOVE vests!

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed your fun family's adventure of tree hunting.
The pictures are wonderful.
Ella and Wyatt(all of you) are just too cute! and funny!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas.
Have a great day.
Pam

Anonymous said...

You ROCK!!!!!! What a hoot....
I have to say, there is a lady in my town that if put side by side to you, it would surprise you. You could be identical twins. Thanks for stopping by. Nanette

Lindsey said...

Great post!! I'm glad you found a tree...I think we're going to get a real one instead of our lovely white one...lol I hope everyone is feeling better this week!

Anonymous said...

lovely tree! i wish we have that back here. we only use artificial trees, sigh.

i have a little something for you here, http://mlizcochico.com/?p=1535. please grab it when you have the time.

see yah :D

Grand Pooba said...

Oh how I wish we could get a real tree but there is no room in our house. We're stuck with a skinny little fake tree that my cats chew on and throw up all over my floor.

Lucky you!

Grand Pooba said...

I left you some bloggy love on my site today!

Pippin Party said...

Wow, that seems like some tree hunting experience!

Carrie said...

Love this post! Especially the almond ornament! The things that amuse kids...

Thanks for stopping by my blog for my Christmas home tour!

The Day the Swallows Came Home

The tree swallows are here already.  They arrived January 30 much to my dismay.  Swooping and calling and chirping their merry song over my ...