Friday, December 12, 2008

I Guess I Am Going Blind

Do you suffer from "squint-eye-tis"? You know, the disease where you blink a few times then narrow your eyes to see the teeny tiny text on the computer screen? So, is it just me or is the Internet shrinking to the normal human eye? When the words starts looking like black ants in neat little rows on my computer screen, I begin squinting every so granny-like to read the damn words. No offense meant toward grandparents, I hope to be one some day in the far, far future... BUT I think there is a conspiracy to use size 6 or 8 font or smaller everywhere on the fleeping Internet.

Well regardless, I have found and amazing and wonderful cure. If you are like me please read on... If you are occularly superior, please go somewhere else. And all of you Internet Einsteins out there, just take your big brain elsewhere. For the challenged like myself, I will let you in on this coveted secret so that you too do not have premature crows feet at the corner of your eyes. What is this magic you say? Not glasses, no, no, way too passe. Nope, it's not using the awkward tool bar with the magnifier, anyway that takes way too much time for an impatient bit** like myself! It is not Lasic eye surgery, that's much too expensive. This cure costs not a dime! Please send me no money or other forms of gratuity. Yes believe it, this technology is FREE.

Are you ready?: Two magic keys already at your fingertips will open the door to magnifying the pages of the Internet.
  • First press the handy ctrl key on the lower left or lower right hand side of the keyboard. Holding that in conjunction with the (+) key makes every thing bigger on the screen. I dare ya. Try it now. You can do this several times to achieve the desired size text. Hurray!!!
  • To shrink this back down again use the (-) key.
I love this. I use it every day. Sorry if I am a little late to the party, but I still had to celebrate this discovery. I wish they had a key like this for husbands, maybe on their fore head or somewhere else easily accessible, and especially the (-) key...hint, hint dearest over active spouse. (And, yes the hubbie reads this on his blackberry.) But anyhoo, now I can read everything in a font sized appropriately for a kindergärtner or a billboard, take your pick. Yes, I will be wearing glasses soon for reading. But they will be sexy glasses for sure.


Stephanie @ Bizzie Mommy said...

I get the squinty eye all the time, it always happens after 12AM or during the day when my son decides that 3am is the best time for a party. The only cure for me is that thing called SLEEP. you know its that time in the evening when you stop tweeting, stop blogging, and lay your head on that soft rectangular thing. I think its called a bed.

Thanks for commenting on my blog.

Julia said...

Unfortunately I get squinty eye after 10 minutes and on a good nights rest... I have banned my self from being on the computer between 10 PM and 6:30 AM. Or I would have to admit to being totally out of control.

Janah @ So Not Mom-a-licious said...

The sad thing is that, as I began to read this post, I had already started squinting! So then I had to stop and look around and make sur eyou weren't in the room! Also, when I squint, it's habit to lean forward in the chair. As if those two combined are going to give me the greatest vision ever!
P.S. your comment on my blog today was funny! Why won't you set it up so I can email you when you comment?

Yaya said...

Yeah, I get to be a big time squinter every year or two when my eyes change...again. Still waiting for them to STOP GETTING WORSE!

Thanks for the tip!

PS love your writing!

Michelle said...

Wow, I like this a lot. I'm always having problems reading things. Now, I wish they had a little trick for when I'm reading a book. LOL!!! Thanks for the tip.

Mountain Woman said...

Thanks for the tip. I'm suffering from old age plus too much time reading small print so your tip was very helpful.
I have a tendency to keep going into my blog dashboard and enlarging the print and then I remember other people probably can see it just fine.
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one out there with this problem.

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