Subsequently, I have been doing weird stuff. Imagine if you will, me driving my truck down the road, radio off.... As I stare mindlessly down the the pavement, I reach to turn the volume lower, since some how I subliminally think I can reduce the sound of my diesel engine this way. My mind is in a flutter or a bluster or scattered.
So on that note, I decided to let the cats have a day to officially introduce themselves. The felines are always in the background here and sometimes unappreciated. Cats are focused, routine oriented, and orderly. These are qualities I need to absorb for next week and I hope they will rub off on me.
So, with no further adieu....
Lucky: 1 year old, 8 lbs, male.
Hi folks, I am Lucky kitty. I have been a somewhat regular staple on the tall lady's blog. You may recall some stories about me such as Two Dead Cats, Why Me, "How To," and News From the Farm. The humans here like me since I tolerate rough handling by the kids and follow everybody around like a little dog. I can't help it. I am a jolly little cat. I guess being colored black and named Lucky by the humans has been a positive thing for me. And if you are ever wondering what that smell is, I will admit to nothing... Well maybe my Pop was a skunk, but I will never tell the humans. I am sneaky that way.
Jimmy: 7 years old, 11 lbs, male.
The humans who I live with call me Jimmy-jam or Jammer for some reason. It may be that I run everywhere. Funny how the only pictures they have of me is sleeping, but it is what cats do well.
I think it is a good thing that I am cream colored, or the tall lady would have stepped on me at night many-a-time when she went out to the barn in total darkness. I think I have scared the bejesus out of her on a couple occasions with my mad dashes through the blackened night.
But I do like to lounge around on furniture. I think it is chiropractic.
When Ella was a baby I used to stalk her and rub my head all over her face and neck. She was not too hard to find back then, since she did not move very far. I am not sure she liked being coated in cat hair, but I did not care. I like to show love. Lots of love. Actually, I overheard the tall lady say I am a "slut-cat," whatever that means.
On special occasions, like when it is pouring rain outside, I will even get close to the black dotted, big one, called Shmobie. He used to hiss violently at me when I first arrived. Age has settled him though. We have been pals for about six or seven years now. I am thankful since he can really whoop some ass.
Shmobie: 8 years old, 19 lbs, male.
My name is Cosmo actually, but the tall lady calls me Shmobie or just Shmo (pronounced Shh-mow really fast emphasizing the mow part). This name change happened soon after she took me from the caged place.
The loud man always picks me up and stretches me in this preposterous manner. It is very embarrassing. I think the loud man likes to pretend I am a show cat. He make believes that he is displaying my large size body to the world. And by "large" I mean tall and strong since I am a lean mean cat machine. Regardless of my personal stature, humans are definitely strange.
I am a very big cat and I boss everybody around on this property. Last week, the tall lady was yelling at me about this, since she said I was good for nothing. All this ranting was because I could not handle a raccoon, but managed to chase all the other cats away. I was all, "Lady!! It was a F-ing RACCOON! That sucker could tear me up." But she did not seem to care.
Harley: 14 years old, 11 lbs, female.
This is the olde dame here. I have made it through five moves with the humans and have outlasted three other cats that once were in our cattery. And unlike Shmo, back in my day, I chased raccoons away, swatting them with my little paws of terror, as they ran from the humans dwelling.
But now days, my strategy is simple. I stay close to the house. Preferably on the humans bed. I especially like to sleep on the loud man's pillow. It is payback for all the years of his noise. My motto is "If trouble comes, hide under the bed." I really don't like the little humans.
I would like to reveal that the loud man said upon petting me for the first time 12 long years ago, "This cat is so soft we should make her into a slipper when she dies." You see, this is another reason I coat his pillow in my fur. Revenge is fluffy, itchy, and bitchy.
Vapor: 1.5 years old, 7 lbs, female.
I am Vapor. While, I really don't belong to the tall lady, she is the first human who noticed me sneaking around her house. I was so scared that I would not show myself for many days after I found the free food on the tall lady's deck. But seeing as there were many hiding places around these humans nests, I stayed. The tall lady would catch glimpses of me dashing off her deck late at night and all she could see was a soft grey blur of fur. I guess that is why she named me Vapor. I was kind of like a mist that would come and go in the night time.
But gradually I became used to the humans and let them pet me. The tall lady likes me since I have dainty little feet. She does not like long haired cats as a rule, but said I was an exception since I was delicate and had a cute face.
The short lady, the mom to the other family on the property, is my personal human. I like to mew politely through the window at her until she pets me. I still don't like going in the house. Maybe it is a good thing since I over heard the quiet man, the short ladies husband, once threaten, "I'll shoot any cat I find in the house..." So I pretty much sleep in the old garage.
Since I am the last cat to speak, I will say on behalf of the others that we love living on this crazy land even though strange things happen all the time. These humans are a busy bunch of animals. But because they feed us we accept their eccentricities. For the most part we have it pretty good around here.
Bye for now from all of us cats!!