Random Tuesday Thoughts

So I felt random and distracted and thought this would be the appropriate way to wrap up a few embarrassing and unrelated things that have been floating around in my brain. If you want more random than this go to The UnMom!

You know when someone farts in the house? Then everyone hollers, "Who farted?"

Well, in normal homes every one is in total screeching denial and won't admit to any fumes. Right...?

But not in my house...

My kids COMPETE for the credit. They start yelling, "I DID, I did it!!!" back and forth at each to claim the title of best farting child. It does not matter who was really responsible, they fight over who farted every stinking time. Who needs a dog when your kid will take the credit.

I. AM. SO. LUCKY.

This is just not right.

New topic: Jack-dog died about a month ago. So now there is no resident dog at our compound. Poor guy was almost blind and deteriorating fast. He liked to lay on the red brick steps to Suzi's house and nap daily. When walking up the steps I can occasionally get a whiff of his doggie smell permeating the approach. His scent is still in the bricks.

I am starting to think it is really his ghost coming back to sleep on his favorite spot.

Something else: How many years of conditioning does it take to get husbands to put wrappers in the trash can. Or the peanut butter away? Or the spoon in the sink? Really, I WANT TO KNOW!!!


And for that matter how long does it take to train a husband to put a can in the recycling? Seems now, I have been with my husband for 13 years and I find myself ranting several days a week that we have been recycling for over a decade now. Methinks he is in DENIAL of some insidious nature.

Question for Ella: Why must you take apart every pen that you put your grubby little mitts on??

I am always finding the scattered remains, the cadaver parts of some pen that met with my little dismantling child.

Now this question:

Do you know what this is?

OK...Dumb question.

But, you are WRONG it is not a jumpy house. It is a night time potty training reversal tool.

I shall explain. Both my kids have been totally night time potty trained for a long while: 2+ yrs for Wyatt and 9 months for Ella. The Jumpy house arrived on a Friday. Friday night Wyatt peed the bed after vigorously jumping for at least an hour. Saturday night both Wyatt and Ella peed the bed after vigorous jumping (cumulative over 2 hrs each).

As Ella staggered in to my room at 3 am, after finding herself soaking wet, she got the award for quote of the week saying, "Mommy, I'm really sweaty. My clothes are too sweaty, Mom. Can we change them?"

Sunday night, both kids got up to pee at night. Mommy deserves a night off now.

So, I have a new word association for this child containment system now.

Jumpy House = Nighttime Pee Inducer

And a final embarrassing tidbit that falls definitely in the too much information category. But what the hay! Since I am sharing strange things here goes:

Ella is in the bathroom finishing her business. I come to help her and make sure she does not stuff the toilet full of an entire roll of TP. She has lately aspired to clog our toilet for some reason.

I am squatting down to help her put her pants back on. She gets really close to me and does two exaggerated, deep sniffs then says, "Stinky. Stinky breath!"

Thanks Ella. I just can't get a break anywhere these days. In my defense I had not yet brushed my teeth so that miserable morning breath had not been beaten back yet. But it's nice to know my daughter can be my halitosis monitor now.

How come 50 percent of this post is about bodily functions?

Random is as random does.

Random on people.