Friday, October 9, 2009

If I See That Pink Topped Syringe I Think I Should Start To Run

Yes, it's me, Shmobie. I am giving you folks my personal account of the last few days.

Sometime an eternity ago, the tall lady put me in the office after I had been hiding out in my favorite bushes for a long time. She came in and sat next next to me petting my dirty fir. Yes, I had begun to think bathing was just not important anymore. My white fur was rather brown in some places. Nothing was important to me. You see, I wanted to die.

Just so you know, some weeks ago there was this pain in my ass. Literally, a pain in my behind. It was indescribably painful. So painful I could not eat. Then add in the fact that it was my rear and the embarrassment factor was overwhelming. I decided I had enough of it all. I quit eating. It was amazing how fast I went from over 18 lbs to 12 lbs.

But after placing me in lock down, the tall lady talked to me in her human babble and was dropping sprinkles of water all over my fur. It was rather odd. We cats don't sprinkle unless we want to mark our territory or sneeze all over the humans. But the human lady was dripping water. I am not sure what all of it was about. I just wanted to be left alone. She pet me and I obliged her by purring with my best effort. Then she left.

The next day, the tall lady took me in the TRUCK. I do not like cars, trucks or anything with a motor. If I can't put my claws into something, I have no business with it or inside it. I already felt like total crap and she loaded me into that rumbling, moving, strange smelling TRUCK.

When the truck stopped moving, the tall lady took me into a building where some more humans touched me. It was not so bad. They were gentle and nice so I did not scratch them. But I was ready, even in my condition, to do some damage if necessary.

Then they did something really weird to me. I know I have a lot of loose skin on my body. They shook my skin around and somehow filled me with water. Yeah, water! There were these lumps hanging from beneath my fur all sloshy and jiggly on my arms. They magically put water under my skin. I am smart, but I can't figure out how they did it.

I guess I was kind of thirsty since I quit drinking with the whole mission to die thing. I was having visions of seeing my brother Frankie in cat heaven. There is a cat heaven right? Well, I was kind of counting on that since I loved my brother so much.

So then, they gave me a tiny pill. It was not much. Just enough that I had the gag reflex for about a quarter second and it was over. After that, the tall lady picked me up again and took me back to the TRUCK.

I shall spare you the details of the ride home. That was hideous. The tall lady is a really bad driver and I think I get motion sickness. But seeing as I could not remember the last time I ate there was nothing to barf up. Good thing cause I could have made a good sized mess in her TRUCK.

When we got home the Tall Lady immediately put me back in the office and disappeared. I breathed a sigh of relief. I could go back to dying.

Then as suddenly as she disappeared, she popped back into the room. She had cans and saucers and a pointy plastic thing with a pink bulb on the top. I heard the cracking of a can. I knew that sound. It was food. Suddenly, I remembered I had not eaten anything in a long time. I sauntered over to the Tall Lady and sniffed at the bowl. After a three licks of food I was done. Why was I hungry all of a sudden? I could not figure this out. I was all set to be done with my cat life and then my stomach started talking to me a little. Hmmm.

But no. It turns out that I was NOT done. The Tall Lady grabbed me and put the long plastic thing with the pink bulb in my mouth. Then there was all this food going down my throat. WTF!!! After being stuffed with a meat slurpie, the Tall Lady gently put me on the bed and petted me. This I found was to be my new routine in life. Every day the Tall Lady squirts food in my mouth. I guess she did not want to let me die.

So here I am, still alive and feeling some what better. Although, you could not tell by my expression since the Tall Lady was in my space and I was just not ready for pictures yet.


And then again, when I have to tolerate "the girl" hovering around me and getting her face all up in my face, I can appear a tiny bit annoyed. But can you really blame me. I try to close my eyes and act like I am sleeping. It usually works. Or not.


Today I brought myself to my feet and took a stroll around the house. I am still not quite normal yet. I don't want to eat by my self, but I don't want to die anymore.


I even wanted to do some prohibited activity...


Like going outside. I used to stare at the door and the Tall Lady would open it. It did not work today. Rats!


And finally, here I am doing what I need to get better. Sleep. I have been sleeping most of the day and night and day and night. But you can see here I actually have a little kitty smile. There were no smiles before the Tall Lady started to force me to eat.


So that's all. I will try to get better now. I am only 9 years old. That's not so old for cats. With the stress and trauma and personal humiliation from my rear end, I did not feel like trying any more. That Tall Lady must really love me to do all this. I guess I can live a little longer for her.

25 Comments for OSL:

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

Oh boy, that made me cry and cry. Poor kitty! Poor Julia! I hope he will turn the corner and live many more years. You are so brave to do that feeding with him. It is so hard to do that when they just want to be left alone.

P.S. There is a cat heaven.

Rural Rambler said...

Oh Shmo boy. Had no idea how bad and low you were feeling. Yes, at least I believe there is a kitty heaven. I am hoping it is the same heaven as us humans go to. But the Tall Lady does not want you to even think about kitty heaven right now. And I can see by the smile that the Tall Lady captured on her camera that life is lookin up for you. Keep doing what the Tall Lady thinks is best for you big beautiful boy and you will be feeling your old self once again.

Ms Snarky Pants said...

They better let kitties into the afterlife with everyone else, because I am totally uninterested in an afterlife without pets! I'm glad you didn't decide to go there just yet though! You look so much better!!!

Five O'Clock Somewhere said...

Good thing your human loves you so much Shmobie. The improvement is noticeable, keep it up. No kitty heaven for you yet!

Pricilla said...

That's right Schmo - you do have lots of living left. And lots of love around you.

Lots of love....

karenscarvie said...

What a sweet story, Julia. When it comes to the gratitude department cats usually get a pretty bad rap, but I bet that under Shmobie's furry exterior there beats a heart . . . just for you. Shmobie knows.

ga.farmwoman said...

Go for you Shmobie and Tall Lady! You made a good team.

I am glad Shmobie is feeling better and trying the living thing a while longer!

Have a great weekend.
Pam

Cheryl said...

Hooray for the Tall Lady and Schmobie. In dog speak "Heal".

jane augenstein said...

Oh, kitty! your momma loves you a lot! So glad to hear that you are on the road to recovery!
Great story Julia, hoping that your beautiful kitty is back to his old self very soon!
hugs...
Jane

The Mind of a Mom said...

Dear Shmobie
You don't want to go see your cat bro yet, I am sure it would make the tall lady, the pesky girl and boy and the other man in the house sad. As for the tall lady giving you abc stuff (already been chewed) I say; You my friend are one lucky cat! Living in the lap of luxury has to be prerrrrrfect. I have to chew my food I don't have anyone to do it for me which makes me a little more then a little jealous. If you can arrange it I'd like to move in and have the tall lady will give me abc food too. Will you work on that for me?? :o) ~ Well Shobe I'm glad to know you are starting to get better and I'm happy to know you are on the mend.
Take Care

San-Dee said...

hi, Julia, I am so glad to read that Schmobie finally let his person take care of him! I am sure you are really glad to see him up and about looking at that door. He has had a rough time of it, but he'll be back to 18 lbs in no time-you can tell by the gleam in his eyes.

Ratty said...

It's good to read about the improvement. Pretty soon you'll be eating and happy again, and then ready to go outside.

blueviolet said...

I am so glad that you live with the tall lady. She's good people!

Raven said...

Oh poor kitty. I'm glad that you're starting to feel better!

Sharkbytes (TM) said...

Shmobie- That tall lady might expect you to start eating your own food soon. I think you'll be up to it!

Frogs in my formula said...

The Tall Lady is taking great care of you. Here's hoping for a speedy recovery.

Sara said...

You are going to be fine, Shmo. Just fine. Give Tall Lady some purring, though. We readers like to "hear" you rumbling. Maybe start drooling a bit, wipe your scent on her computer...You know show a little love. It'll help with the living. Get your kicks in somewhere. Big Hugs! Spice says hi and she will kick your butt if you give up now. That is right, the rabbit will kick your butt. She can do it, too.

Ms Sparrow said...

The pink syringe! My big kitty Sunny is facing the daily shot of antibiotics down the throat too--plus eyedrops and gunk mixed into breakfast. What's a cat to do?

Whimsical Creations said...

I am so glad he is feeling better!

Jennifer MacNeill-Traylor said...

Aww, poor guy. Get well soon Shmobie!

Michaela said...

That was just touching! Hope you're feeling better Schmobie - you're still much too young to go to kittie heaven

Kritter Keeper said...

ahhh, poor little cat, such misery but i am so glad your baby is recovering and you are like me, very dedicated and will do what it takes! prayers for your baby!

Mountain Woman of Red Pine Mountain said...

So glad you are coming through your terrible ordeal and are on the mend. Those trips to the vet and all those syringes are awful but they did make you better. Ella is just worried about you. I'm glad you don't want to die any more and are on the mend.

Yaya said...

Schmobie! Glad you have recovered!

DayPhoto said...

Oh! I am so glad you are doing better Schmobie! And it was nice to see your photo and meet you! I won't be long now before you get to go outside and sniff around, but for now, just rest and eat!

Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com/