Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Strip me naked, lay me on the base rock, and let the vultures pick my bones clean.

Yes, it has been that bad. I can't resist the gory details any longer. If I have to be tortured, so do you.

And if you were wondering, the swine flu (H1N1) is everything and more than the media promises it to be.

People with swine flu can fall into several categories which I have scientifically studied during the last 12 days of my life.

There are the violently ill (i.e. my husband Mike). They have insane high fevers reaching 105-106. They shake violently and vomit. This is accompanied by a racking cough and headache and body ache and malaise. These patients end up panicked in the emergency room and are prescribed Codine cough suppressant. (I was all !#@* WTF?? But I guess this is all they can do for this flu in adults).

These wonderful symptoms last between 7 and 10 days. Mike has not reached 10 days yet so I am hopeful this is not a lie. He'd better get better soon or I may have to be committed. Also, the ER nurse informed us that you can take Ibuprofen and Tylenol simultaneously. I am storing this for future use in my memory.

There are those treated with Tamiflu around 28 hours from onset of fever. (i.e. Ella). This produced a patient with high temps between 101 to 103, crying, vomiting, headache and a mild cough. While fever and coughing has subsided this patient suffered a secondary ear infection which is still lingering.

There are those treated with Tamiflu at 12 hours from onset of fever. (i.e. Wyatt). This produced a patient who is spastic and annoying since he neither had a fever or cough or headache after 24 hrs of first symptoms. He was complaining that "It was boring at home," with all the sick people.

Then there are those with very mild symptoms. (i.e. ME). These people may experience only hard coughing, head ache, and lack a fever entirely. BUT these people suffer the unmitigated consequence of "health" by taking care of the rest of the family 24 hours a day. They are sleep deprived to the point of derangement.

Last night went like this:

9:00 - Bed time
9:30 - Mike's alarm clock went off to "remind" him to take his medicine and the siren could not be turned off.
9:55 - Ella woke up crying that her ear hurt.
10:26 - Mike coughing uncontrollably wakes me up.
10:45 - Ella re-emerges complaining of her head.
11:15 - I wake myself with a coughing spam.
11:55 - Ella wakes again screaming. I dose her with Motrin.
12:31 - Mike spits up a lung.
3:15 - Wyatt comes in saying he is "having a nightmare." I say he has no idea what that really means.
4:00 - Ella back to say she needs to "snuggle." Snuggling is a word that has been deleted from my vocabulary.
4:18 - My involuntary coughing spasm produces an alien.
5:15 - Ella comes to me saying she wants her "milky baba."

(And this is the short version, it was actually much, much worse than described above. Since this all began I have not slept more than 2 hrs consecutively per night.)

Yeah. At this point I would welcome a pack of wolves to tear me from limb to limb. It would likely be more pleasant than the past 12 days of my life. Really.

Okay. I am through bitching. Probably.

But to make it up, here is a Halloween pumpkin to carve for your entertainment pleasure. Be sure to click "Done" to see what happens after you have carved your face.


blueviolet said...

Ok, the pumpkin carving did work to make me feel better about the flu devastation taking place at your house.

Girl, you have my deepest sympathies.

Yaya said...

You poor thing! If I wasn't a huge germaphobe I'd offer to come help you. ;)

Frogs in my formula said...

Omigosh that sounds TERRIBLE! I hope everyone gets better soon. REALLY soon!

Melynda said...

Sounds horrific. Seems like moms always get sick enough to feel bad, but not so sick they can opt out of taking care of everyone. Hang in there!

Melodie said...

Oh my goodness you sound worn out!I hope things get better quick.It is terrible when a whole family is sick at once,even worse when mom is sick and has so many to care for.Hang in there.

Ratty said...

Moms always end up doing the most suffering. And you are doing your share and then some right now, so we can at least read when you complain. It's the duty of all the rest of us. I hope you and your family feel well soon.

Pricilla said...

Oh I am so very sorry....

Ms Snarky Pants said...

Oh you poor thing! *HUGS* I hope everyone is well soon!!!

Olde Dame Penniwig said...

Dear, dear, dear. You poor thing! Yes, you are worn out, and no wonder! What a mess! And the worry is the worst of all.

At least now you know you can't catch it again (can you?) and at least you won't have it during Thanksgiving, Christmas or any of the holidays...looking on the bright side (what little there is)...

Please rest yerself AS YER ABLE, I know you have to carry the brunt of it all, kids, hubby, self, horses, cats, etc and etc.

Sharkbytes said...

Ah Julia- the joys of being the least ill... of course I remember being the most ill once, and thinking how nice it would be that people would wait on me and take care of me. Not an inherent skill, apparently. I lay in bed with a fever of 105 till I finally came back from the dead and got up and made myself some soup or whatever a couple of days later. Oh, wait, it's called being the mother.

Really, I wish for you the sleep of one who has been coshed on the head, without the headache when you awake!

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Julia, read your profile.
You certainly have very impressive credentials.
You should be in the White House, Obama's assistant, ha ha, as you're a 'chicken wrangler'....maybe can wring a few necks there, ha ha, just kidding.
Firsttime I read of a 'chicken wrangler'....you don't cry out, "Yeeeee Haaaa" do you?

Love your hilarious humour.
Quote...'Mom, equestrian, house wife, botanist, wetland scientist, nurse, gardener, chicken wrangler, veterinarian, nose wiper, laundry hanger, taxi driver, cleaning wench, short order cook, friend.

Regret to read of the health problems in your home.
Here's wishing everyone a quick recovery.
Keep well Julia and have a nice day....keep a song in your heart, Lee.

Suzi said...

Love the pumpkin at the end. I love carving pumpkins, it made my morning. Hope everyone feels better soon. I may be seeing your Hell with Trevor. Waiting for him to wake up so I can take his temp.

Michaela said...

Oh I'm so sorry your family got hit with this thing!! It sounds just awful!! I hope you all are feeling better very soon.

Sara said...

The widget is cute!!! So sorry you are having such a rough time. 12 days really takes it toll. Hopefully there will be a breakthrough. My MIL and I were talking this morning about the kids catching the swine flu. I'm out of sick days cause taking care of stuff with the teen in September. I've got my fingers crossed and thinking I'm going to keep all of us dosed on Vitamin C and probiotics.

Leigh said...

Oh Julia I'm so sorry! I think we're about done here except for the coughing. It alarms me to hear that you can have swine flu with no symptoms other than coughing. I've had a horrible cough that's woken me up in the night, but I just attributed it to allergies. Now I'm not so sure...

ga.farmwoman said...

Bless your little hearts!
I hope you all feel better real soon.
Loved the pumpkin carving and your creative writing.
Take care of yourselves.

Life Ramblings said...

I wish you and your family the absolute best, and I hope all of you have a speedy recovery. take care and be positive.

Julia said...

Thanks EVERYONE!!!!! I think we are getting over the hump now. There were only four sleeping interruptions last night so we are gaining on the virus. FINALLY!

Vixen said...

You know it's bad when someone chooses a pack of wolves tearing them from limb to limb over caring for a rabid, errr sick family.

Take consolation that you are not as sick as they are, only because even if you were as sick as Mike? They would still all expect you to be able to take care of them all anyway. It's some kind of 'mom/wife' expectation that all children/husbands have in their DNA.

I wish I could give you a little vacation. But honestly? I don't want to get sick.

Karen said...

Hugs for all of you but you, the mom, especially.

Doris Sturm said...

Sounds exhausting! I'm tired just reading about your night!

Hey, thanks for the pumpking widget...I love it and put it on muy blog too for my visitors to play with.

Thanks for voting in my Pet Costume Contest, Julia...

I hope you are all feeling better real soon!


The Day the Swallows Came Home

The tree swallows are here already.  They arrived January 30 much to my dismay.  Swooping and calling and chirping their merry song over my ...