Bad Mommy Part II

From time to time, or rather should I say day to day, there come minutes when my children are unsupervised for brief periods of time. I wish I was super mom capable of x-ray vision or that my children were more easily entertained. However, in these moments of solitude they discover new and better ways to entertain themselves.

Generally, I am awakened in the morning by this.

And this.

Who needs alarms when you have these eager faces peering over the bed at you bright and early at 6 AM. I can't remember the last time I woke up on my own personal internal alarm clock. And 6 in the morning is an improvement...since Ella recently decided it was OK to sleep past 5:30 and join Wyatt in sleep-in club which means they both might sleep until 6:30 on occasion.

So what can children do when the get creative. That's easy.

While I was cooking one evening a few months ago, Ella dashed off to the bathroom since she need to go potty. She was in there for a while and I could hear ruckussing but I figured she was OK. I gave her the benefit of the doubt. BUT then I was hearing water. Oh good I thought, she's washing her hands...

However, something told me that I should go investigate. And here is what I found:



Now that's a great way to wash one's feet and get a drink at the same time. Or that's just plain happiness!

Moving on..

My kitchen window looks out to the "play area" where the kids dig in their sand pile and fight each other. I can see and hear squirmishes in the making so letting them work it out a little sometimes is called for. Other times I need to step in. I was hearing lots of running water and screaming and looked out to see this WTF moment:


Wyatt and his cousin Adam had procured my umbrella (where I have no idea) and were using it as a shield. Why would they need a shield you ask...


Because oldest cousin Luke was spraying them with the hose. I still can not figure out why they were in the black pond liner. There was water inside it and their legs were wet but somehow getting sprayed with water was too much to handle.

It all simply defies adult logic.

Next we have a scene from my office where I store luggage. Ella left alone while I was hanging laundry found this an appropriate way to occupy her time. Apparently someone is going on a trip without me and is strapping themselves in for the ride.

"YES??? What do you want lady? Can't you see I am busy??"

And as I toss the ball back to Wyatt he hits it out of the park with this one. I left the vacuum on the porch to clean up the out door carpet (yes we are hillbillies). Wyatt asked if he could do some vacuuming and I was all "PLEASE DO!!" I mean what man asks to help around this place? So donning the proper hearing protection and cleaning apparel he looked like this:


Then back to Ella who in a moment of embarrassment had to cover her face. It's late June, 90 degrees out and she's in underwear and mittens. Why the need to be buckled into her booster?? I just don't know. It seems to be related to the buckling into the luggage, don't you think?


Uncomfortable with the paparazzi taking her picture she decided to flee the scene.


Proving I AM a good mommy I take the occasional portrait with Ella, letting her have her "passer" outside of the normally scheduled allowance for naps.


The passer and crack are basically the same. The passifier is really just a gateway drug for kids. I caught my two sneaking a Mike's Hard Lemonade last night (while I was making dinner) and nearly called 911. Luckily they spilled half of it on the deck and were sharing. Such great mitigation I KNOW!! The cap was still attached to the bottle and it was leaking from the top, just enough to sip it like a hamster, which they were doing....

And just so you all know I am really a good mom watching out for the best interest of my children I will present the final photo. As Ella and Wyatt thought climbing into the drier was a good idea, I had to stop them even though it looked pretty entertaining to me too. If I were smaller maybe I'd have joined in on the fun.

But alas and alack, as acting umpire I called the "NO GAME!" on this particular activity. Wahhh! Gut wrenching isn't it?


Here you can see Ella here exhibiting her best, "Mommy you are an ass!!!"

As my final word, you all can get your red pencils or rather red permanent markers and draw a huge "L" (for looser) on my forehead for being a bad mommy! After all, those red pencils would leave a nasty gash...